I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize