MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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