Jerry, you need to find god
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
