so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
