He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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