He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Randomize
