You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
