Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
