he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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