whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Randomize
