Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize