my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
