what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize