3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
