When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
