If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
