Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
