Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize