Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
