the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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