btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
