and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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