So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize