I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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