Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
