that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
handjob tips. give me some.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
