Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
