I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
