It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
