i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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