That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i believe in u and ur pee
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
