at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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