awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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