You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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