Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
