My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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