bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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