Say something about gay babies.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
