My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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