I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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