Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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