He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
