My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
