I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
