I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
