tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
