I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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