you turned your livingroom into a bong?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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