someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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