I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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