There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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