He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
being pregnant is like rehab
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
