dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
