My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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