I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
