Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When did angry sex become our thing?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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