What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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