woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize