my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
