It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
