we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
