My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
