I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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