I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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