if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
not ubering you a puppy
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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