I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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