What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
