I puked a lego.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
