i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
