I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
